A Simple Christmas

by Sharon Glasgow

This past year our family encountered more financial hardship than ever before. We desperately sought God for answers and provision, and He provided both. While we listened for His answers, we believed He was telling us to rent our cozy home to in-training missionaries we knew needed an affordable place to live. We moved out of our house and into a one-room dwelling on our farm so they could move in.

This wasn’t our first choice for how God would provide. This provision included sacrifice and living differently than ever before. When our kids heard we were moving, the first thing they asked about was our annual family Christmas celebration.

At first, I too was concerned we wouldn’t have our home. But then I remembered Jesus left His home. He traded comfort for something that paled in comparison - all for a greater purpose. Jesus left the portals of glory, the very throne of God, the kingdom of Heaven, and the presence of His Father, to be born to a poor family in a common barn with animals. He wasn’t born to just any poor family, but one of the weakest clans of Israel. There was no pomp or pageantry when He was born; He had nothing but strips ofcloth to cover His body. Mary didn’t get to order her favorite meal after the delivery or have the luxury of a comfortablebed to rest in that night.

When they returned home, there were no balloons or people waiting to celebrate His birth. In fact, many in their small town thought Jesus was illegitimate.

As a young man, He never acquired wealth or reputation. He even considered himself homeless, with nowhere to lay His head. In His final days, He was rejected, mocked and tortured before being crucified. His entire life was one of sacrifice and obedience for His Father.

When I thought about everything Jesus sacrificed to come to earth, it made me embarrassed about my own expectations for a traditional Christmas. For so many years, I packed December so full I barely had time to reflect on the simplicity of the real story of Jesus’ birth. It’s a story of sacrifice and simplicity from beginning to end. Remembering the reality of Jesus’ birth and His God-centered life assured me our move was God’s provision.

The past few years have been hard. God has reminded me of a winepress. Repeated crushing is crucial to producing fine wine. Sometimes God allows us to go through repeated crushing to press us into His greater purpose.

This Christmas is different. We will set aside many traditions, such as a big decorated tree and gingerbread houses sitting in a row. Instead, we will celebrate Christmas more joyfully and humbly than ever before. We are learning that the hardest circumstances are often the things that push us into His greater purpose for our lives. To celebrate Jesus’ birth, we will go to the barn, scatter clean hay on the ground, read the Nativity story, eat a simple supper and thank God for what He has taught us this year about provisions and sacrifice.

Next year, Lord willing, we will move back into our house. As a memorial to what the Lord has taught us, we will once again celebrate a simple Christmas, focused on Jesus’ birth. Maybe we’ll light a candle, read the prophecies of Jesus’ birth and the Gospelaccount on the floor near a window. Maybe we will look out at the stars and sleep on the floor with few provisions or comfort. Maybe we will eat crackers and drink grape juice together in remembrance of
everything Jesus lived and died for.

May you and your family press into God this Christmas. May you experience His peace and answers. Though His provisions might come with sacrifice, when you follow God’s leading, they always bring you into His greater purpose.

Sharon Glasgow is a speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She a wife and mother of five beautiful daughters, she lives on a farm in Northern Virginia .

What Makes a Family?

by LeAnn Rice

Thirteen years ago, I watched as a hospital bed was rolled into my living room. What an unlikely place for a bed. What an unlikely bed for my husband. Ron was young, athletic, my best friend, the love of my life and the absolute joy of our three-year-old son, Nick. How could this be?

Fragile days of hearing his raspy breathing became my “in between.” Life would soon be defined with the painful qualifiers of “before Ron died” and “after Ron died.” I hated that. I wanted to make these in between days rich with last conversations, last kisses and last memories. But Ron’s condition deteriorated too quickly and every “last” slipped by without regard to my desperate heart. Then I was alone.

Questions nagged. How would I raise our little boy alone? Who would play catch with him? Who would teach him to shave? Who would model a good husband and father to him?

Most people have a close support network … a soft place to land when facing such a loss. Not me. Physical distance separated me from my mother and in-laws, and differences in viewpoints created emotional distances with other family members. As a result, my landing place felt more like shards of glass. And it hurt.

Everything hurt.

Everything cut deeply with no concern for me being very alone.

Since then, I’ve walked through valleys I never thought I could survive. But I did. Finally, love for my son, Nick, helped me move on.

It broke my heart to think of spending holidays alone without family around. There would be no big birthday celebrations, and Thanksgiving dinner is quiet with just two. I missed the big traditional holiday celebrations. I even missed the noise and the mess. I didn’t want Nick to grow up without those memories. Clearly, we needed a family. But it wasn’t going to look like a traditional family.

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned in those 13 years is that marriage certificates and blood relation are not the only things that make a family. Over the years, God sent people to fill the empty spaces in our lives and in our hearts. But I didn’t let them in easily.

When you experience a tragic loss due to death or betrayal, it is hard to trust again. I was certain that any investment of my heart would return void. But there was one thing stronger than my fear of being hurt … my fear of betrayal … my fear of loss. I was motivated by my love for a little brown-haired boy who needed godly male influence, and a loving family with whom to celebrate life’s events – big and small.

God saw our needs, and over time, brought different people into our lives, each filling an empty space left by death, betrayal or simply the physical distance of 2,800 miles. I faced my fear of being hurt again, and slowly cracked open the door of my heart to allow these amazing people in.
Somehow God created a family by knitting our hearts together. My small “family” consists of people who love each other unconditionally, support and encourage each other, sit beside each other’s hospital beds, hold each other accountable and share in every achievement, failure and pain.

Do we look alike? Not so much. But we do share the same heart. Thankfully, God has given me a soft place to land.

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She and her son, Nick, make their home in North Carolina with their very high-maintenance cat, Angel (name not appropriate). LeAnn shares her life, laughs, family stories and yummy recipes through her two blogs: A Widow's Might and She Cooks.

To read more about LeAnn’s “family” the different ways God has filled the empty spaces in her life, and for ways you can reach out to others and create your own “family,” visit Proverbs 31 Ministries and click on Everyday Life.

Meet the Staff of Proverbs 31 Ministries

Why would a group of professional women choose to sit behind donated desks, coordinate their schedules in order to share office space, and work for a lot less money than they could make elsewhere?

One thing; well, one Person … His name is Jesus. Working at Proverbs 31 Ministries is more than a job and a paycheck to our office staff. Each beautiful face on the cover of this magazine represents an answered call to serve the Lord through P31.

There is not enough space to recite all the ways these incredible women sacrifice their time and talents for God’s glory. Each day they lay down their lives for women they probably will never meet. Amidst the ring of the phone, soft tones of prayer, whirl of shipping books, buzz of events being coordinated, and clicking of keyboards, we wanted to introduce our gals to you and ask them, What do you like most about working at Proverbs 31 Ministries?

LeAnn Rice, Executive Director
The moment I walk through the front door, I feel God’s grace flowing through my sisters. I am loved, accepted and encouraged every moment of every day. These women radiate Jesus in everything they say and in everything they do, and I am overwhelmingly blessed to have them in my life, and honored to work beside them. Oh … Wendy’s chocolate chip cheesecake isn’t bad either! And then there’s Barb’s baked potato soup … yum!

Samantha Reed, Executive Assistant
The grace of God shown by each of my co-workers. It’s strengthened and sharpened me beyond my years. Each one lives out the character of Christ in special ways, and I am honored to walk beside them, serving the Lord.

Teri Bucholtz, Resources Coordinator
Blessed is the word that comes to mind. I think about the many before me who have given so much to this ministry, and they believe God has used them to minister to those “out there.” They don’t realize what they have done for us staff “in here.” Their dedication has given me a livelihood that is meaningful, worthwhile and full of grace and peace.

Wendy Blight, Speaking Ministry Assistant
Every week I look forward to Tuesday morning because it is my day to work in the office. Spending the day with these girls is like a breath of fresh air. We laugh, we cry, we pray, we share stories and struggles, and oh, yes, sometimes we work.

Melissa Taylor, Administrative Assistant and Prayer Coordinator
The women I work with! I am also passionate about the prayer ministry. It is a wonderful privilege to pray with people from all over the world and watch God work first hand.

Holly Good, Personal Assistant to Lysa TerKeurst
I love connecting with many women all over the world. It is a pleasure to learn how God is moving in and through so many lives. He completely amazes me.

Terri McCall, Project Assistant
Working with women who are faithful, have a heart for God and are true prayer warriors is an experience of a lifetime. God knew I needed it. I’m humbled to be a part of this ministry as I continue my journey to wholeness and serve the Lord alongside these beautiful, godly women!

Leah DiPascal, Personal Assistant to Renee Swope
I love working with an incredible team of women who are passionate about their relationship with the Lord. It is a privilege to play a small part in helping women to discover their calling in life.

Kristen Sigmon, Radical Revolution Coordinator
I can’t choose just one, so I have two. The ladies I get to work with – each one shows me a different side of God and inspires me to be a more godly woman. I also love seeing God use our ministry to make a difference in teen girls’ lives.

Barb Spencer, Speaker Ministry Coordinator
God has brought a special group of women together at the Proverbs 31 office. As we each use our gifts, He blesses and ministry takes place. It is a joy and a privilege for me to be a part of this team.

Wendy Pope, Development and Gather and Grow Coordinator
I love our response to a need for prayer. At any given moment, someone could call and need prayer. I know because I hear Melissa praying with them. If the Spirit moves us, we all may come together in an office and fall on our knees to pray, right in the middle of the work day.

From our heart to yours, Merry Christmas. Enjoy celebrating the reason for the season, the reason we serve: Jesus.

Filling in the Gaps with Grace

By LeAnn Rice

The first time I checked “widow” as my marital status on a form, I burst into tears. This just can’t be my life. It’s not supposed to be this way. But with my husband’s final breath, I went from being a happily-married mom to a widowed-single parent.

Before cancer entered our lives, Ron and I planned to have two or three more children. We dreamed of the days he would coach Little League and soccer, and we would spend weekends hiking along the trails of the beautiful Pacific Northwest as a family. When Ron died, so did our dreams for the future we envisioned together. I couldn’t imagine how I would care for the house and raise a child all on my own. Eleven years later, I am still trying to figure it out.

No matter what your circumstances, raising happy, healthy, godly children is challenging. As a single mom, it has been hard for me to find ways to spend quality time with my son while balancing the day-to-day responsibilities of home and work. Nick will always be my priority. While I would love to spend all our time together having fun, the reality is bills need to be paid, and the house will smell if dishes pile up in the sink. I know this from experience!

How do I get it all done? Well … I don’t. I simply do the best I can each and every day and trust God to fill in the gaps.

I didn’t learn this lesson overnight. The year after Ron died, I tried to be Super Mom, but failed miserably. Looking back, I have often wondered if God thwarted some of my efforts so I would learn to depend more upon Him. Nick never needed Super Mom. He needed me - a mom who tries hard, loves him unconditionally and knows she can do nothing without Jesus. When I let go of the things I couldn’t reasonably accomplish, God provided for us in ways I never could have imagined.

As for smelly dishes … I’ve learned to be creative when it comes to getting the necessary things done, as well as extra “tasks” that arise. Recently, when we needed to assemble furniture before out-of-town guests arrived, Nick and I tackled the project as a mother-son bonding experience. We ribbed each other over the silly differences between men and women. He had his way (the throw-away-directions manly way) and I had mine (the follow-directions-to-the-letter girly way). Switching roles more than once, his idea, we laughed so hard tears ran down our faces. We had so much fun it didn’t seem like work at all. Now I look at every task as an opportunity to connect with Nick.

Perhaps you are looking for ways to bond with your children while keeping up with everyday life. Here are a few practical ideas that have turned normal “tasks” into wonderful mother-son bonding experiences for Nick and me:

• When considering areas to serve in the community, I choose opportunities based on where Nick and I can serve together. In a world where the media encourages self-serving attitudes, Nick is developing a heart for serving others and learning that some people have needs greater than ours.
  
• Mundane tasks such as running errands are rarely fun. However, they provide great opportunities to catch up and connect. Some of our best talks happen spontaneously while driving from one stop to the next.
  
• Preparing meals together is a wonderful bonding experience, as well as a smooth transition to conversation. Unfortunately, Nick doesn’t share my passion for cooking. So, instead of bonding over preparations, we transform meal time into memory-making time. Sometimes we eat our meal backwards (dessert first), have a theme dinner (picnic food, ethnic food, etc) or we eat everything with our hands (no matter what is on our plate).

Being a parent is probably the hardest job in the world, and I’ve made my share of mistakes. I consider myself successful though, as long as Nick knows he is loved unconditionally, and never feels second to my other responsibilities. As he grows, I don’t want him to look back and remember his mom was too busy to spend time with him. I want him to look back at his childhood, and remember the silly as well as significant stuff. I pray he also has learned how to find balance as a husband and father himself.

You're The One I Want!

By: Renee Swope

Christmas was only days away and we still didn't have a tree. Living on a college-student's budget with our first child on the way made it hard to justify spending $25-$50 on something we wanted, but didn't really need. Yet, with each passing day, my husband J.J. and I wondered what Christmas would be like without a decorated tree.

Even though it seemed trivial, I told God how sad I felt that we couldn't afford a tree. Then I felt guilty since there were so many people who needed much more than we did. I knew telling God would make me feel better, and I hoped He wouldn't think that asking for a tree was a selfish request. So, I asked and God provided. On the way home from church the Sunday before Christmas we saw a sign at a nearby tree lot announcing that all trees were reduced to $10!

As soon as my husband came home from work Monday evening, we hurried to the lot. There were only a few rows of trees to choose from, and I wanted the perfect one. So we walked down each row to find just the right spruce to fit in the corner of our one-bedroom apartment. Unfortunately, I lingered too long in indecision. The sun went down quickly, the spotlights turned off and the lot was suddenly dark. Here we were with our $10, and several trees to choose from, but we couldn't see any of them.

My creative, (and very patient,) husband decided to pull our car into the rows of trees and turn on his high beams. The bright lights broke through the darkness and standing right in front of me was the most precious little tree I had ever seen. Although it had some droopy branches and a gap on one side, I knew it was the tree for me. I pointed my finger and said, "That's the one I want!"

Since a pregnant woman will bond with almost anything, I immediately connected with that cute little spruce pine. That night I sat on the couch looking at it, grateful for not only the tree, but for the tangible reminder of God's concern for both the big and little things that matter to me.

I thought about how sad I felt earlier when the darkness made it impossible to see the Christmas trees. Then the beams of light illuminated the lot, and my heart filled with hope again. Etched in my mind was a picture I would never forget, an image that drew me back to another time marked by darkness.

It was a time when I was not the one choosing, but the one who needed to be chosen. For nearly 20 years I had searched for someone, or something, that would make me feel valuable.

Just when I thought all hope was gone, God's light pierced the shadows surrounding my heart and illuminated His love into my life. It happened on another winter's eve when my Heavenly Daddy looked at me and said, "That's the one I want!"

At some point in our lives, each of us can identify with that little tree. Scarred by disappointments, we wonder if anyone will ever choose us. With gaps that mark us as candidates for rejection, we hope others won't see the holes in our hearts. Like my little spruce, it seems the only way we'll ever get chosen is if all the "good" ones are picked first.

Christmas is the time when God invites us to pause and remember that He chose to send His Son to light our darkness. First Peter 2:9 reminds us that we are chosen too: "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light" (NIV). God has chosen us, and called us His own.

That spruce pine and I had a lot in common, and to this day, many years later, it's still my favorite Christmas tree!

Renee Swope is a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. For a list of her topics or for more information about scheduling her for an event, visit her blog at www.ReneeSwope.com.