To-Do Lists Never Satisfy

by Glynnis Whitwer


By 9 a.m. this morning I was already overwhelmed. Deadlines loomed, laundry piled and my to-do list screamed. Two responses battled for attention:


1) Just start doing something on my list … preferably something easy.
2) Do something completely different, like play solitaire.


When my panicked instincts take over, I become a micro-manager. Instead of bringing focus to my work, I shift and shuffle the tasks before me.


Thankfully, I’ve got a deeper river of motivation: my priorities. It’s how I stepped back this morning to a place of simple, calm focus. Does it always happen? No. Sometimes I jump into the fray with both feet. Usually those days end with me shrugging my shoulders and wondering why nothing got done. It’s like going to the grocery store, spending $100 and having nothing for dinner.


Planning my day based on God’s priorities for me gives me a much greater sense of peace and purpose. My days can still fall apart, but they are less frequent.
Although there’s satisfaction in checking items off a to-do list, mundane work can easily fill our days. Then we find ourselves looking in the past, wondering where the time went. Weeks, months and years fly by, “If only” sprinkles our conversations, and we establish patterns of regret.


Can we know God’s will?

The Bible makes it clear we can avoid this type of reactive life and know God’s will. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”


Based on Scripture, we can know God’s priorities for us. However, there are two conditions:


• Not conforming to the pattern of the world.
• Being transformed by the renewing of our minds.


The pattern of this world will obscure God’s priorities for us every time, because it creates a self-centered life — one in which we consistently choose the ways of this world. That typically means following our own desires, regardless of whether they line up with God’s desires.

Ephesians 2:1-3a explains in greater detail:

“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts.”


We live among parallel kingdoms constantly in a spiritual battle for our hearts. When we weave between the two kingdoms – choosing between the ways of the world and God’s ways – our hearts are divided. A divided heart always faces confusion.

Years ago my own life reflected this conflict. Even as a committed Christian, I didn’t understand the need to seek God’s will above my own. For years I pursued priorities that took me further spiritually from where God wanted me. My inner struggle resulted in frustration and annoyance, which often spilled out onto those I loved.


Outsiders might have looked at my priorities years ago and thought they “looked” good. My resume included a career in public relations, serving on non-profit boards, leading ministries at church, singing on the praise team, and spearheading exciting projects. It was a full and productive life. Just not the one God had in mind for me.

My mind was stuck on me – my career, my plans, my needs. Apparently I needed an earthquake to get unstuck. Once that happened through a cross-country move, it didn’t take long to see the truth – about myself and my life. God sweetly began the process of renewing my mind, a process which continues to this day.


When I seek God’s priorities and not my own, renewing happens and clarity follows. Like a dancer who focuses on one point while twirling – I maintain balance no matter what swirls around me.


How to determine priorities


One way I evaluate if I’m living according to God’s priorities is to work through a set of questions. By taking the time to process them, I press the pause button for a few moments and reposition myself to a peaceful place outside the fray.


What can only I do?
What has God entrusted to me?
Am I a good steward of what I already have?
What has God asked me to do that I haven’t done yet?
What passion (or dream) has God put in my heart?


My questions always start with an evaluation of how I’m doing with the responsibilities I already have. If I’m neglecting the priorities God has given me, I’m not ready for new ones.


Once you have a clear vision for your priorities, don’t be surprised if it takes time to work it out. You may have to resign from certain responsibilities in order to fulfill others. Crafting your schedule to reflect your priorities takes prayer and ongoing revisions.


All this to say, it isn’t easy. To be a woman who lives according to priorities, I frequently check my motives. I choose to pull my heart back to a place of submission when I want to run ahead. I’m learning to wait on God’s confirmation of something rather than challenging Him to stop me. It’s a completely different way of thinking than I had 15 years ago. But it’s brought more peace – in my life and the life of my family – than any to-do list ever could.


Glynnis Whitwer is on staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries as the Senior Editor of the “P31 Woman” magazine. She is one of the writers of Encouragement for Today, the Proverbs 31 e-mail devotions, with over 350,000 daily readers. Her newest book, “I Used to Be So Organized,” was just released. Glynnis, her husband Tod, and their teenagers live in Glendale, Arizona. Visit www.GlynnisWhitwer.com or www.HerOrganizedLife.com to learn more.

What Makes a Family?

by LeAnn Rice

Thirteen years ago, I watched as a hospital bed was rolled into my living room. What an unlikely place for a bed. What an unlikely bed for my husband. Ron was young, athletic, my best friend, the love of my life and the absolute joy of our three-year-old son, Nick. How could this be?

Fragile days of hearing his raspy breathing became my “in between.” Life would soon be defined with the painful qualifiers of “before Ron died” and “after Ron died.” I hated that. I wanted to make these in between days rich with last conversations, last kisses and last memories. But Ron’s condition deteriorated too quickly and every “last” slipped by without regard to my desperate heart. Then I was alone.

Questions nagged. How would I raise our little boy alone? Who would play catch with him? Who would teach him to shave? Who would model a good husband and father to him?

Most people have a close support network … a soft place to land when facing such a loss. Not me. Physical distance separated me from my mother and in-laws, and differences in viewpoints created emotional distances with other family members. As a result, my landing place felt more like shards of glass. And it hurt.

Everything hurt.

Everything cut deeply with no concern for me being very alone.

Since then, I’ve walked through valleys I never thought I could survive. But I did. Finally, love for my son, Nick, helped me move on.

It broke my heart to think of spending holidays alone without family around. There would be no big birthday celebrations, and Thanksgiving dinner is quiet with just two. I missed the big traditional holiday celebrations. I even missed the noise and the mess. I didn’t want Nick to grow up without those memories. Clearly, we needed a family. But it wasn’t going to look like a traditional family.

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned in those 13 years is that marriage certificates and blood relation are not the only things that make a family. Over the years, God sent people to fill the empty spaces in our lives and in our hearts. But I didn’t let them in easily.

When you experience a tragic loss due to death or betrayal, it is hard to trust again. I was certain that any investment of my heart would return void. But there was one thing stronger than my fear of being hurt … my fear of betrayal … my fear of loss. I was motivated by my love for a little brown-haired boy who needed godly male influence, and a loving family with whom to celebrate life’s events – big and small.

God saw our needs, and over time, brought different people into our lives, each filling an empty space left by death, betrayal or simply the physical distance of 2,800 miles. I faced my fear of being hurt again, and slowly cracked open the door of my heart to allow these amazing people in.
Somehow God created a family by knitting our hearts together. My small “family” consists of people who love each other unconditionally, support and encourage each other, sit beside each other’s hospital beds, hold each other accountable and share in every achievement, failure and pain.

Do we look alike? Not so much. But we do share the same heart. Thankfully, God has given me a soft place to land.

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She and her son, Nick, make their home in North Carolina with their very high-maintenance cat, Angel (name not appropriate). LeAnn shares her life, laughs, family stories and yummy recipes through her two blogs: A Widow's Might and She Cooks.

To read more about LeAnn’s “family” the different ways God has filled the empty spaces in her life, and for ways you can reach out to others and create your own “family,” visit Proverbs 31 Ministries and click on Everyday Life.

One Simple Rule

By Wendy Pope

Welcome to the Pope home. The day we took the photo for the magazine cover I was sick: not swine-flu sick, but like I had been run-over-by-a-truck sick. If you had come by our home prior to taking this photo, you would have found me in bed, not having bathed for days, wearing nose uglies, with a house that would make the folks from the show “Clean Sweep” blush. Fast-forward two weeks.

As I write this article I am healthy. However, the tops of my washer and dryer are piled high with clothes that need to be washed, have been washed or just need a place to stay. A sticky unknown substance covers my kitchen counters and tinker toys litter the playroom floor. And the planting bed in the front yard is missing shrubbery because our 9-month-old puppy destroyed them. This is normal in the Pope home.

Yet, even in this chaos, there is peace and balance. I don’t achieve that balance by keeping a well-manicured yard or a house free of cobwebs and dust bunnies. Rather, I achieve balance by setting priorities and keeping them. It is a state of mind that stays with me in the midst of a messy house and poorly-groomed lawn.

How did I come to this place? How am I able to sit in the middle of a mess and have peace? Jesus. Jesus is how. For over a decade, I have started each day the same way: in prayer and reading God’s Word. Spending this time every morning gives me power and strength to face whatever the day brings.

My morning date with Jesus has helped me set priorities for my life. Those priorities are God first, family second, followed by ministry and then friends. God has taught me one simple rule that when followed, keeps my life balanced: Say “yes” to God, “no” to self, and “maybe” to others.

Believe it or not, saying “yes” to God is the easiest part of this rule. His plans for me are good. He offers me a hopeful future. Having this knowledge brings peace in itself. I don’t have to worry, only rest in His leadership.

The second and third portions of my “life rule” are more difficult. Not because the Lord is demanding, but because I am selfish by nature and the little girl in me at times still cries, “What about me?”

Being in a two-parent working family, with two kids, and a puppy, there is not much time for “What about me?” This is where trusting in the Lord’s provision and care for me must be strong. It’s imperative to trust that He sees all I do and will provide what I need when I need it.

Saying “maybe” to others is one of the toughest challenges for me. Most women like to be useful. God made us with the desire to serve, love and care for others. We are gifted at multi-tasking, therefore believe it is possible to be PTA president, leader of the Cherub Choir at church, head of the local chapter of Meals on Wheels, and serve on the Community Beautification team. Learning to say “maybe” and then asking for God’s permission and blessing has brought me great freedom. There is peace knowing I don’t have to do it all.

Rules get broken, even simple ones. At times my priorities get “off-balance” a bit. For instance, when Karate demo team practice lasts two hours instead of one, and my daughter gets to her friend’s house late. When this happens, I go with the flow of life, ask for God’s help, and get through the “off-balance” situations one day at time.

Wendy Pope is married with two children. She’s the author of “Out of the Mouths of Babes,” is a contributing author for “God’s Purpose for Every Woman” and “The Reason We Speak,” and has been featured in the “P31 Woman” magazine. You can read Wendy’s devotions in “Encouragement for Today” online devotions, which reach over 300,000 daily. In 2009, Wendy led over 1,000 people through a daily study of the “One-Year Chronological Bible.” Join her in 2010 for another year of online Bible study by visiting www.wendypope.org.

Protecting the Oneness in Marriage

By Melanie Chitwood

A perfect Saturday in the past would have included sleeping in, watching my sons play basketball, enjoying a meal cooked by someone else, and watching a ball game on TV. Over the course of this year, however, my idea of a perfect Saturday has changed. This past Saturday exemplifies what is now typical, and ideal, for our family. After watching our sons’ games, my husband and I spent the remainder of the day working side-by-side at our family-owned business. My husband Scott handled the various activities of the volleyball tryouts and basketball leagues taking place at our indoor gym, while my main job consisted of sitting by his side.

Could Scott have handled the day’s responsibilities without me? Absolutely. However, I’ve learned that working alongside Scott at our business is one way I can nurture the oneness God wants us, and every married couple, to experience.

In Matthew 19:6, Jesus says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate“ (NAS). God says a married couple becomes “one flesh” on the day they marry, and then they work out that oneness all the days of their lives. God intends husbands and wives to know each other and be known intimately in all ways, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

All the good habits we practice in marriage are like little stitches strengthening the fabric of oneness in our marriage. When the stress of life pulls against the seams, then we discover the strength or weakness of our marriages. If we’ve only sewn a few stitches, challenges will rip the seams apart. On the other hand, if we’ve spent days and years sewing small stitches in the fabric of our marriage, we’ll find that it will hold up under life’s pressures.

How can those of us who are married strengthen our oneness? Here are some practical ways to do this:

Consider your priorities. During our wedding ceremony 18 years ago, our pastor encouraged Scott and me to make time to date one another. At the time, I thought, Of course, time together will always be a priority! Eighteen years later, however, I know how easily other matters, such as jobs, kids, financial burdens, busyness, hobbies and stress can threaten oneness in marriage.

One way I determine if I’m living according to my priorities is to ask myself this question: Who or what is getting my best time and energy? It’s easy to say our husbands are a top priority, but we need to be honest about how much time and energy we really devote to our marriages. What are you doing to be your husband’s friend? Do you make physical intimacy a priority, or are you too worn out from other activities by the time you go to bed?

Consider your heart. Proverbs 4:23 cautions us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (NLT). Whatever is in our hearts will eventually be reflected in our actions. Our hearts must be first committed to God and secondly to our spouses. Ask God to show you anything in your heart that is a barrier to closeness with your husband. Has unforgiveness or bitterness toward him taken root? Have disappointments or frustrations spilled over to harshness or coldness? Spend time with God confessing your sins and asking Him to create a clean heart in you.

Consider your thoughts. If you’re like me, you’ve probably had times where you’ve rehashed your spouse’s hurtful or angry words. Or maybe you’ve compared your husband to another man and found your husband coming up short. These thoughts do nothing but tear away at the stitches of oneness between you and your husband. The truth is that you and your husband are both sinners in need of grace from God and need to extend grace toward each other. Be careful that you don’t dwell on the worst qualities of your spouse; instead remind yourself of the reasons you love him and say a prayer of thanks. Ask God to shape your thoughts toward your husband.

Consider your words. How do you speak to your best friend, sister or mother about your husband? Deter-mine to present him only in the best light. What words do your kids hear you speak? One of the sweetest things Scott does is constantly tell our sons how lucky they are to have me as their mother. That makes me feel loved, and in return I’ve become more aware of my words about Scott to our children and others.

Consider your actions. Jesus Christ was a servant who laid down His rights for the sake of loving others. How can you be a vessel of Christ’s love toward your spouse? Show your spouse your love by cheering him at his softball game, taking him to a movie he prefers, or having a good talk at the end of the day.

Prayerfully consider the various areas addressed here. Ask God to show you how you can strengthen the oneness in your marriage. You’ll be glad you took time to sew some stitches today, knowing that the fabric of your marriage will hold tightly against the pulls and pressures of tomorrow.

Melanie Chitwood is wife to Scott, co-owner of Carolina Courts in Charlotte, North Carolina, and mother to Zachary and Tyler. She is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, and the author of two books, “What a Husband Needs from His Wife” and “What a Wife Needs from her Husband.” To learn more about Melanie, visit her website at melaniechitwood.com.

Proverbs 31 Ministries is proud to announce the publication of Melanie’s latest book, “What a Wife Needs From Her Husband” just released by Harvest House Publishers. This book and its companion “What a Husband Needs From His Wife” are available for a discounted price this month. Please see the back page of the magazine for ordering information.

Adapted from “What a Husband Needs from His Wife” and “What a Wife Needs from her Husband.” Published by Harvest House Publishers.

Helping Your Child Overcome Disappointment

By Glynnis Whitwer

I waited anxiously on the sidewalk while my seventh-grade son walked to the band room. Josh tried to act nonchalant, but I could tell he was excited. A letter awaited him, informing us of his acceptance or rejection to the school’s top jazz band. I held my breath as he returned holding a sealed envelope.

Josh prepared for weeks to audition for Jazz I. From the day he received the music, he rushed home from school to rehearse. Josh already had jazz band experience, as he’d played beginning jazz band in fifth and sixth grade. He was ready to move up.

However, there was only one spot for his instrument, the bass guitar, and Josh knew he had strong competition. At the audition on Friday, Josh was ready and played his best. After an agonizing wait over the weekend, Monday finally came, and with it the announcement of who made the band.

We both grinned as Josh ripped into the envelope, anticipation making us silly. Josh’s face told it all as he opened the letter to discover he hadn’t made the top band. Discouragement washed away the hopes and dreams of a moment earlier. He schooled his features quickly to reflect acceptance, but I saw the depth of his pain. As a gesture of kindness, the teacher said she would reserve his spot in the lower band if he was interested.

I forced a bright smile, told him I was proud of his effort and hugged him goodbye. Josh turned and walked towards his classroom with his shoulders hunched, and a slow step. Feeling hot tears burn my eyes, I quickly turned to walk back home before Josh could see the emotion threatening to overflow. My heart ached with sadness; not only for him, but me too.

I couldn’t stop the tears as I remembered the sports teams that had cut me, the high school play I didn’t make, the solo I didn’t get, and the recognition given to someone else. It was as if every personal disappointment flooded my memory, and added to the sorrow for my son’s experience.

When the sorrow eased, the unfounded anger came. Negative thoughts overtook common sense. If that teacher doesn’t think Josh is good enough for her top band, then he’s not good enough for the lower band. Maybe I should pull him out of band altogether. I hurt for my son’s disappointment, and I wanted to protect Josh from being hurt again. No child of mine should ever experience disappointment! In my overly-emotional state, I determined the only way to avoid disappointment was to avoid trying.

In the midst of my mental tirade, God spoke to my heart and reminded me His Son faced disappointment too, but that some things were worth persevering through. As I pondered that thought, I realized I had a decision to make that day. With God’s wisdom replacing a mom’s emotions, I looked again at my son’s situation. I knew this wouldn’t be the last time he’d be disappointed, and I determined to help him (and me) work through it, and learn from it. Once I had my emotions in check, Josh and I discussed his feelings about not making Jazz I.

We talked about how he should react to the boy who earned the bass spot. Josh decided to congratulate him sincerely. We discussed the teacher’s offer to play bass in the lower band. Although he would be with younger students, he reasoned it would give him good practice. We were able to get past our emotions and talk about how to use a disappointing situation to live out the things we believe as Christians. We chose to think affirming thoughts about all of the parties concerned, and then speak positive words. It wasn’t easy. It took a lot of discipline on my part to lead the discussion positively.

Josh had one more chance to make the top jazz band in eighth grade. Since my son loves music and has God-given talent in this area, we decided to prepare him for that last chance. Thankfully, he had a year to prepare for the next auditions. We knew Josh would be at a disadvantage trying out for the bass spot, since his main competition would have a year of experience in the top band. However, no one played electric guitar. Since Josh wanted to play guitar anyway, he determined to learn a new instrument. With three year’s experience playing bass and some private lessons, he transitioned easily.

One year later, Josh auditioned for Jazz I playing electric guitar. We waited another agonizing weekend and on Monday morning walked to the band room together. Another white envelope, another silly grin, another gut wrenching moment for me as Josh walked alone to read his personalized letter. Only this year, my son’s face showed a different response. His sweet eyes peeked over the envelope and his smile chased away all the fear in my heart. Josh had made the top jazz band!

While I can’t guarantee that every one of Joshua’s life disappointments will end the same way, I do know that he was much better prepared to overcome the next one. His mother is too.

Life is filled with little and big disappointments. Your child won’t be invited to a party, she’ll get cut from a team, and he may fail a test. The best training ground for dealing with disappointing situations is a loving home, with parents who will respond with kindness, will teach their children to learn from their mistakes, keep a God-pleasing attitude, dust themselves off when they fall, and try harder next time.

Jesus is the best model we have for persevering through life’s disappointments. In spite of the frustrations of dealing with human frailty, He chooses to love us, believe in us and see our potential. When our children face disappointments, we can learn from Jesus and not give up.

Glynnis Whitwer is a wife, mother of five and on staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries as the editor of this magazine. She is the author of “When Your Child Hurts” just released by Harvest House Publishers. Her other books include “work@home: A Practical Guide for Women Who Want to Work from Home,” and a Bible studies series entitled “Kingdom Living” co-authored with Brian T. Anderson. Glynnis and her husband Tod both work from home, are active in their church and live in Glendale, Arizona. Glynnis speaks to women’s groups around the country.

Proverbs 31 Ministries is pleased to offer Glynnis’ latest book, “When Your Child is Hurting.” Please see the back page of this issue for ordering information.

Embracing a Big World

By Amy Carroll

I couldn’t get the premise of the movie out of my mind. My husband and I discussed it all the way home. If you created a list of things to do before your death, what would be on your list? “I want to visit every continent!” I blurted out. I sat and mused for several more minutes before I added, “I want to share Jesus with people on every continent.”

My grandmother says that I have wanderlust, and she’s right. At the age of 14, I moved with my family to England for a year during my father’s sabbatical, and I was bitten with the travel bug. If someone mentions a trip, in minutes I’m throwing my things in a suitcase. Driving past an airport sets my heart racing, and I keep my passport updated and ready to go.

In my college years, God started to refine my passion for foreign lands as He planted a deep love for missions in my heart that has never diminished. Some things have changed in my life, though. I have two children and a budget that doesn’t include trips around the world! However, God has been good to give me other ways to contribute to missions and Kingdom building throughout the world. These are ways that everyone can spread the Gospel internationally. Some of them don’t even require leaving your state.

Adopt a Student

Revelation 7:9, “After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb...”

The description from Revelation of standing before Jesus with people of every tribe and nation always grabs my heart. Beginning in my college years, I began to realize that my desire to reach people of every tribe and nation wouldn’t be as hard as I thought. Multitudes of men and women from other countries were right here in the United States pursuing degrees. I became involved in befriending international students and praying for opportunities to share my faith with them.

After college, my family reached out to international students attending a university near our town. The office that coordinated these students was eager to connect them with people who would introduce them into American life. The students were hungry for friendship, struggling with the language and far from their families. We built friendships with students from Malaysia, Japan and Pakistan.

One student, Ali, spent lots of time with our family. He even accompanied us to my parents’ house one year at Christmas, and we learned so much from him, too. After he cooked for us, I learned I can eat Pakistani food, but only with half the spice that a native uses!

Our friendship with Ali has had lasting results. I got an email from him several years ago that touched my heart. He had returned home to Pakistan to pursue a career, and the attacks of 9/11 had happened in the interim. Anti-American sentiment was running high in some areas of the Middle East, but Ali wrote to tell us that every time he heard someone speak ill of Americans, he told them of our family. He told them of how kind we had been to him, and how we had opened our home to him. I was humbled that God could use our flawed family to impact another’s world-view, and I prayed that the story of a Savior he learned that Christmas will continue to affect his life, too.

Many international students return to their home countries to become leaders in business, politics and education. They develop tremendous platforms and are trusted by the citizens of their countries. It’s amazing to me to think there is the possibility that Jesus can gain a platform through them if I’ll only open my home, cook a few meals and share my life and faith.

Train a Child

Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (NIV)

Financially sponsoring a child in a third world country has deeply impacted my family. We’ve found our child’s country on a world map, read about the culture and adopted the idea of eating a meal of beans and rice once a month. During our meal, we talk about the fact that Manuel, our sponsored child, is probably eating something similar. Our family prays for him and his family, and we write letters to build relationship. One night of eating beans and rice instead of eating out pays for our sponsorship, but more importantly, it’s changing our lives as well. Even though by American standards we’re not wealthy, my children have much. Child sponsorship is a way for us to focus on others in need and to put our own relative wealth into perspective.

Our Proverbs 31 Speaker Team had the amazing opportunity to travel to Ecuador last summer. In one area of crushing poverty, I sat at a school table surrounded by children sponsored through Compassion International. Looking into their glowing faces and sparkling eyes, I asked each of them what they wanted to be when they grew up. “I want to be a teacher,” one answered. “I want to be a fashion designer,” chimed in another. “I want to

be an engineer,” a child shyly added.

I couldn’t help but listen in wonder. In an area where many children didn’t even have basic necessities, Compassion had restored hope and built dreams in the hearts of these children. Their most basic needs are cared for so that they can follow Jesus’ call wherever He goes. Child sponsorship reaches not only the hearts of sponsored children but their entire family and into the next generation. Compassion International is a ministry that feeds children, takes care of medical needs, provides education and fills a child’s heart with the hope found only in Jesus. My family is blessed to join with them in ministry.

Be Willing to Go

Matthew 28:19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...”

Revisiting My New Year's Resolution: No More Hissy Fits!

By Lysa TerKeurst

It all started one morning when I was reading a particularly stirring verse in Isaiah. About half way through I spotted a nugget. Not of wisdom. But a literal nugget made of chicken. Yes, there it sat on the end table in my living room.

Right then and there I decided to do a little test. I left it just to see how long it would take for another human in my home to notice it and recognize where this day-old, unrefrigerated nugget of pieces and parts belonged. The poor little nugget sat hour after hour right in the middle of my den. It sat right beside Brooke playing with her cyber pets on Webkins. It sat through Ashley's cartoon fest. It sat while Jackson walked past it umpteen times making his grand plans for hanging with his buds. It sat while Art got ready for work and walked past it to have me fix his tie.

Not a soul noticed the nugget except me! So, I devised part two of my plan. I asked the kids to come and sit on the couch so I could take their picture. I purposely posed them right with the nugget. Look at my evidence people - just look!

To your left you'll see Ashley chatting away while the little nugget is close enough to hear every detail!

Jackson is posed right beside it. He even made a comment, "Look mom! There is a nugget on the table." I bit my tongue because I needed to complete my experiment. I needed to know: Is there another human who will feel compelled to pick up the NUGGET for Pete's sake? Whoever Pete is.

And then here is my little Brooke Caroline. But do you notice the little detail about her photo? The nugget has been moved! Moved I tell you!!! Someone flicked it just a few inches but never bothered to pick it up. Are you feeling my pain? It has been eight hours since the nugget was first discovered by moi!

So what is one to do with such pieces and parts that have been on display like this all day? Sometimes she gets all in a huff and demands to know who did this and why is it that no one but her EEEEVER picks up things like this … blah, blah, blah.

But on this day she remembered her resolution for this year: No more hissy fits!

So, through a nugget of chicken, she sees God’s nugget of wisdom. She decides to end her experiment and simply pick it up herself.

She then puts on her rose colored glasses that will surely transport her to places more tropical - where they don't even serve little deep fried poultry parts – and without having a hissy fit, she purses her lips into a most sincere smile and simply throws the nugget away. But not without taking a photo of the event so that her friends who have surely found nuggets in and around and tucked under and stuck to things, can relate and maybe even smile.

So that brings me to revisit my New Year’s resolution and examine how I’m doing. In the past, I have been known to throw a hissy fit, or two … or 200. But this year I have really made an effort to see the evidence of life in these kinds of mishaps. Yes, my children need to be more responsible. And yes, I am teaching them. But sometimes I simply need to get over things like this without the drama and fit-throwing.

I think my study of Isaiah is really helping that. "Forget the former things (like daily hissy fits); do not dwell on the past (even when it smells like day-old chicken.) See (Look for God in every situation and if you have cool glasses like these that my dentist let me pick from the prize box last week, they will surely help), I am doing a new thing! (God's abundance and my feelings of frustration are a perfect match.) Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? (God is available moment by moment with perfectly designed wisdom and perspectives for my every toil and trial.) I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." (Boy does that perfectly describe my soul when it gets all busy and dried up - kind of like that nugget.) Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV.

Featured Articles

Categories

Faith
Home
Marriage
Parenting
Friends
Finances
Community
Seasonal
Other

Little Comforts of Refreshment

By: Lysa TerKeurst

"A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men."
Roald Dahl,
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"

We have a special tradition in our home of an afternoon treat. Now, a nutritionist may or may not agree with me, but I think it's a most heart healthy habit. Not that our treats are always that healthy, mind you. These treats are "heart" healthy for how they create moments of joy in the midst of busy schedules, projects that are due, activities to attend and chores to be done. It's a little burst of comfort that I, as a mom, delight in giving my children. It says, I love you …

I think about ways to make you happy … and I consider it a privilege to enjoy a treat with you.

I remember as a little girl my mom making ginger snap cookies for me. Oh how these cookies made me happy. To this day, the smell of ginger makes me smile. If these little treats made me so happy as a child, why do they have to stop? I mean, why is it that I sometimes think motherhood is all about what I do for others and never stop to think of the wonderful benefits of treating myself?

Yes, I think it is the best kind of refreshment to let the Lord fill you. But, just like giving treats to my kids makes me happy, I think our Heavenly Father would like us to consider things that make us happy as a treat from Him.

There has been so much talk about the difference between joy and happiness in the Christian world that many of us shy away from happiness. Now granted, none of the things on my list provide me with lasting joy, but they sure can lighten a heavy moment of feeling drained. So, why not make a list of things that really make you feel happy? Then the next time you are feeling a little drained put together a care package for yourself and thank God for His sweet treats. Here are some of the things on my list:

Cinnamon Altoids Gum

Black gel pen-medium point

A candle that smells of the season

New pair of white socks

Lemon flavored Propel

Brownies from a box mix

Dryer sheets-fresh spring scent

Inspirational CD

Cup of White Chocolate Mocha, skim, no whip, no foam, extra hot

Thank you God for these simple treats that make me happy. Help me give myself permission to receive these treats as a simple reason to give thanks to You and make my heart happy.

Another important and practical thing I do for refreshment is to make sure I always have something to look forward to. Maybe it is a date with my husband, a night out with the girls, having time to work on my scrapbook, getting my hair done in the salon, or even something as simple as taking a bubble bath after the kids are in bed. Sometimes it is a bigger thing like a vacation or getting to shop for something I've saved up to buy. But whatever it is, having something to look forward to is the little glimmer of better things that gets me over the hump of hard things. It's just the pick-up my heart needs when life seems full of mundane chores, whiney complaints, and yet another mess to pick up. So look up, look forward, and put something on the horizon that will make you smile.

Finally, rid yourself of the "Hoarder Disorder!" You've heard the old expression of Save the Best for Last. Well, I think we do too much of this and never just savor what we have. Think about that candle that cost a little too much but you just loved the way it smelled. So, you bought it but only burn it for company. No, no, no! Go get it right now and burn it because you like the way it smells. Just burn it for you.

A friend of mine recently shared with me that she was at a scrap booking party where she shared her hesitancy to use her "good" stickers. A lady quipped back at her, "You've got hoarder disorder and you need to get over it. Pull those stickers out right now and use them. What in the world are you really saving them for?"

How true! Do we really think when we are old and gray that there is going to be some kind of contest at the retirement home? The announcer steps up on the rickety stage and pulls the squeaky microphone close, "Whoever has the most unburned, good smelling candles gets an extra bingo card."

I don't want an extra bingo card 50 years from now. I want to be a happy person. I want to be a mother with a smile on her face. I want to teach my kids that it doesn't mean you are a worldly person if you happen to find a little joy in the things of this world that bring your heart comfort.

So, be refreshed my friend. Put together a little care package of happy things for yourself. Put something on your calendar to look forward to and don't save your best for last.